4 Easy Pieces to Helping Someone Grow (the heck) Up

Name the problem, limiting yourself to what is observable.

Empathize. “I understand why you feel this way.”

Explain the negative consequences of the behavior as you
see them.

Request a change and offer your help.

“____, ever since ____ happened, it’s really been clear that you haven’t been happy. I understand why you’d feel that way, but it’s really impacting the happiness of myself and others. I’m most concerned about how it’s affecting you. At some point you really just have to choose the joy. I know you didn’t agree with the situation and the way it was handled, but responding in this way for a prolonged time will only cause very negative results. I really do care about you, and I will support you as you work to handle this with the utmost grace and change of heart. Behaviors like this can be severely career limiting if not career ending, and I just don’t want to lose you.”