1 Talk the values
2 Align on them
3 Make them tangible
4 Live Them
Personal Identity
Who are you as a person? Take a few moments and write an answer to that question in 25 words or less. Don’t use your name, address, profession, age, gender, educational credentials, marital or family status, possessions, religious affiliation or nationality.
These questions can help you focus your personal identity:
What do you value most?
What one thing do you worry about most?
What one thing do you talk about most?
Which of your talents have you developed most fully and relied on most often?
What kind of challenge do you find most appealing?
What one thing have you done in your life that you have been most proud of?
What one thing have you done in your life that you would most like to do differently?
What are three important ingredients of your personal identity?
5 attitudes that will make you soar!
“I can.”
This is the most basic of all attitudes. We simply must choose to believe that we can. In our house we are not allowed to say, “I can’t.” We can say, “I’ll try,” or “I tried and failed,” but not “I can’t.” Telling yourself that you can’t will in effect make it so you can’t. But telling yourself that you can will in effect enable you to achieve much more. Even if you actually only achieve 50% of what you tell yourself you can achieve, you will achieve at least that much more than if you told yourself you couldn’t.
Here’s a standard way of going about getting off of the starting block: Simply say if somebody else has, then I can too. And if many others have, then surely I can too! I have to be smarter than at least one of those who has already done it. I have to be able to work harder than at least one other. There has to be at least one other person who has come from more difficult circumstances than me. And if they can do it then certainly, “I can!”
“I will be generous.”
Another attitude that will make you soar is to be a generous person. The attitude (and discipline) of generosity increases your likelihood of success for two main reasons: One, you are happier about yourself and that puts you in a state of mind that is prepared for successful living. Two, people pay back people who are generous. Generous people receive in kind and that will raise you to levels yet unseen.
“I will make a difference in the lives of those around me.”
People who soar are generally people who have the attitude of helping other people. Yes, they may do it for monetary gain, but they are others-focused. They want to change the way people live and experience life for the better. They are difference makers all around.
Live in a town that is affluent. Most of the people you know, work with, and have as friends are very successful in this world. As almost a universal truth, they are people who are not self-consumed but genuinely care about others and will do what they can to help others. This is true about the attitudes of the genuinely successful.
“Not much will make me angry.”
Whether or not we get angry is a choice of attitude. We determine whether or not we will be angry. Often I will meet with someone who is struggling with achieving something and in many cases I find that they are angry people. They have held onto an attitude that is at its root angry. When we take on an attitude that raises the bar on what will make us angry, we are positioning ourselves to be in a state of mind that is better able to live and work in this world in such a way as to achieve success.
“I will look for the good in every situation.”
This is basic optimism. Successful people who soar through life are those who are optimistic about life. They see the good, think the best and strive for greatness, believing all the while that they will achieve it because it is possible!
1) Sweat the Big Stuff – As my dear friend and mentor Richard Carlson reminded millions of us through his bestselling series of books with this great title, life is not an emergency and most of the stuff we worry about, get upset about, and obsess about is not that big of a deal. If we lived as if we were dying, we probably wouldn’t let so many small things bother us.
2) Let Go of Grudges – One of my favorite sayings is, “holding a grudge is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die.” Everyone loses when we hold a grudge, especially us. If you knew you were going to die soon, would you really want to spend your precious time and energy holding onto anger and resentment towards those around youor people from your past (regardless of what they may have done)? Forgiveness is powerful – it’s not about condoning anything, it’s about liberation and freedom for us.
3) Focus on What Truly Matters – What truly matters to you? Love? Family? Relationships? Service? Creativity? Spirituality? Our authentic contemplation of death can help us answer this important question in a poignant way. If you found out you only had a limited time left to live, what would you stop doing right now? What would you want to focus on instead? And while we all have certain responsibilities in life, asking ourselves what truly matters to us and challenging ourselves to focus on that, right now, is one of the most important things we can do.
4) Go For It – Fear of failure often stops us from going for what we truly want in life. From a certain perspective (the ego-based, physical, material world) death can be seen as the ultimate “failure” and is often related to that way in our culture, even though people don’t usually talk about it in these blunt terms. However, this perspective can actually liberate us. If we know we’re ultimately going to “fail” in life (in terms of living forever), what have we really got to lose by taking big risks? We all know how things are going to turn out in the end. As I heard in a workshop years ago, “Most of us are trying to survive life; we have to remember that no one ever has.”
5) Seize the Day – Carpe diem, the Latin phrase for “seize the day,” is all about being right here, right now. The more willing we are to surrender to the present moment, embrace it, and fully experience it – the more we can appreciate and enjoy life. As John Lennon famously said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” Living like we’re going to die is about remembering to fully engage in the present moment, being grateful for the gift that it is, and doing our best not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. If today were your last day, how would you want to live?
8 Key Choices
1. Grow personally.
Many people wish to grow personally, yet they never choose to grow by taking action, such as actually exercising, saving more money, etc. Make a decision today to be a person who is on the never ending journey of personal growth.
2. Treat others right.
We come across all sorts of people, many of whom will treat us poorly. We can choose to treat them right, no matter how they treat us. When they lie, we will tell the truth. When the cheat, we will play by the rules. We may get the short end of the stick some times, in the long-run we will win. Most importantly, we will be able to sleep at night.
3. Break some bad habits.
Take the 3 biggies first – head on. If you don’t know what it is, ask a friend. Then be and do what’s needed to break those habits. Forget the others for now, you will get to them later. Get out of debt or get along with your family. Exercise the power to choose!
4. Work smarter.
Many people feel like we are out of balance. One of the first things to do is find out how much time we are wasting at work, which makes us work longer, throwing the rest of our life into chaos. Getting our work done by diligently working in the time you have will free your life up extraordinarily.
5. See your work as a way to help others, not only a way to make money.
If you put your heart into helping others, the money will most assuredly come. Spend time helping others grow and your finances will grow with it.
6. Become balanced spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Our lives are best when we have these major areas in balance. Spend some time cultivating and becoming healthy and fit.
7. Sow more than you reap.
Our lives and the world’s will become better as we become givers. Give away your time, money and love.
8. Be home for dinner frequently.
The family is the most important group you will ever belong to. Make a decision today to grow in your relationship with your parents, siblings, spouse and children.
Project is a unique endeavor with deliverables
Do you want it good, fast or cheap – pick any 2
It’s not about a plan, it’s about planning
Analyze
Design
Develop
Test
Implement
Low to High to Low Effort
Stakeholders – those who are actively involved and affected by the delivery of the project
Risk = Probability * Likelihood
Constraint, expert vs team estimate
*Create realistic estimates
Client = what Coaches = how
*Scope management
updates time and resources
What went well and what could be changed
Create baseline and common language
*Start with defining coaching and consulting
*Make a clear distinction when you are doing each
Forming, storming, norming and performing
Conflict indicates some level of care
A strategy for change management
Acknowledge where you are on the change curve. Observing your reaction to change as normal adds objectivity and enables you to neutralize the damaging effects they can otherwise have.
Identify your core values. Remembering what matters most during stressful times is a quick way to shift your internal experience. It will reduce stress in the moment and create the physiology that supports a shift in perception.
If you manage a team, know where each person falls on the change curve and provide what is needed to help them move to the next stage: Information on the down slope; support during the trough; recognition on the up slope.
Take time each day to appreciate everyone’s talents and contributions, including your own. Doing so is energizing and helps minimize emotional drains.
Revisit organizational values. Starting staff or team meetings with a discussion of the group’s shared mission or vision helps create an emotional shift that positively impacts the meeting and facilitates adjustment.
***Success = Intention + Attention
Work with people who play at what you have to work at
Why don’t we follow through?
Because implicit memory runs over 90% of the show (often obsolete)
Write goals as specific as possible
i.e. “Resentment release”
“I am so grateful that ___ is now so”
Become the goal from the inside out
“What is it that I want to trade my life for”
Means values & end values
My goal:
Time
Money
Spiritual
Family
Value
Image
Purpose
Environment
Most people plan their vacations more than their life
*****Collaborate with my family modeling happiness constantly
It takes no more energy to dream big than it does to dream small
The thing that makes us human is our ability to choose
What frequency are you tuning into?
Feelings are stronger than thoughts
Express more than suppress
Integrate more than disintegrate
Create more than destroy
Most vehicles are off course most of the time and are constantly adjusting to a destination
Start with your most powerful destination
*Set goals
*Set strategy
*See which ones feel like they serve
*Keep refining
Frame things so they serve
What gives you purpose and meaning?
Believe, behave and commit
Hardware, OS and software = results
***Reprogram implicit beliefs & habits
***Reset your financial thermostat
1Guided visualization from 300^
2Hypnotherapy 400^
3Precision affirmations
4Meditations 500^
5NLP
6Synch L&RBrain
7EFT
8EMDR
9Subliminal programming
10Multisensory tools
Do it for you, your group and everyone
1. Increase your clarity and commitment to lifetime ideals that are larger than you.
2. Increase your ability to establish and achieve goals – and to acknowledge and celebrate progress.
3. Increase the daily time focused on your Unique Ability – and create a Unique Ability Organization.
4. Increase your ability to “be present” on a daily basis in all life situations.
5. Increase the integration of all aspects of your personal and professional lives.
6. Increase your ability to “create value” in all life situations.
7. Increase your personal and organizational referability
a. Show up on time
b. Do what you say
c. Finish what you start
d. Say please and thank you
8. Increase your ability to transform all obstacles into creative solutions.
9. Increase your ability to differentiate yourself – both personally and organizationally
10. Increase your ability to achieve higher levels of personal and organizational productivity.
11. Increase your ability to be autonomous of bureaucratic values, conflicts and dependencies.
12. Increase your ability to take advantage of entrepreneurial opportunities in the global economy.
A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.
Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.
For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent.
How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?
I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.
In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
In life, you need either inspiration or desperation.
It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives.
It’s not knowing what to do, it’s doing what you know.
It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.
Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.
Live with passion!
Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives.
My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year – and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade!
One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.
Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.
Passion is the genesis of genius.
People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals – that is, goals that do not inspire them.
Remember, a real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.
Success comes from taking the initiative and following up… persisting… eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?
Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
Surmounting difficulty is the crucible that forms character.
Take control of your consistent emotions and begin to consciously and deliberately reshape your daily experience of life.
The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results.
The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck.
The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.
The path to success is to take massive, determined action.
The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.
The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors.
The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
There’s always a way – if you’re committed.
There’s no abiding success without commitment.
To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.
Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.
Want to learn to eat a lot? Here it is: Eat a little. That way, you will be around long enough to eat a lot.
We are the only beings on the planet who lead such rich internal lives that it’s not the events that matter most to us, but rather, it’s how we interpret those events that will determine how we think about ourselves and how we will act in the future.
We aren’t in an information age, we are in an entertainment age.
We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.
We will act consistently with our view of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not.
What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.
Whatever happens, take responsibility.
When people are like each other they tend to like each other.
You always succeed in producing a result.
You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.
You see, it’s never the environment; it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events – how we interpret them – that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow.